A few weeks ago a friend, and mom of seven (yes 7), showcased a photo on her Facebook page that caught my eye. Oh yea sure, we see TONS of pictures flash before us each day and most we don’t think twice about. But this one, this one I could not get out of my head! April had shared a picture of her kid’s responsibility and reward program that involves clear cylinders, pebbles and a reward that gets those 7 kiddos moving. I adapted the idea to fit our family… introducing the “coins” program that has already in one week has our nearly 5 year old so excited she has told just about everyone we see about it and how she is helping our family “work as a team.” Oh yeah, love that!
As you can see in the picture we have a clear cylinder for each of us – Mommy, Daddy and the kid. Each of us has a designated color pebble (sea glass from local craft store; bought with 40% off coupons). Kid has gold, Mommy has green, and Daddy has blue. When you open those pebble packages you find that there are clear ones mixed in, so those have a purpose too! K calls these all “coins” (a term she learned during preschool and that seemed to stick well with her)… so “coins” they are.
Positive choices = earn 5 coins
Negative choices = lose 10 coins
Tending to her own responsibilities (without being asked or reminded) earns her 5 coins per task. For example: Make bed (5), Feed dogs (5 per dog), Feed fish (5), Clean up her room (5), Clean up playroom (5), etc. If she is asked to do these things then she doesn’t earn any coins; it is about training her to tend to her own responsibilities. If she is asked more than once to do these things she loses 10 coins. If she is rude, disobedient (we strive for first time obedience), then she loses 10 coins for those “negative choices” and on occasions like being disrespectful or dishonest she loses 20 coins. (Note: When the loss of coins happens we just take them out, with no regard to color pebble. On both the positive and negative side it is the kid that adds or takes them away; making her part of the process of what she does or does not earn.)
Extra choices = earn 5 coins
Asking mommy or daddy to help with a task (put away dishes, help with laundry, dust, etc) earns her 5 coins in mommy and/or daddy’s color. The idea is teaching her that we are a family, and a family means working together.
Bonus choices = earn 5 coins
Those clear coins, we use those for things that we are working to train deep into her heart… things like kindness, thoughtfulness, compassion. When we see her show those things to friends (think “sharing toys”), to strangers (telling a lady at the grocery there was a beetle on her back – and there was!), going the extra mile (feeding extra dog when we pet sit at our home), etc. that is when she is given clear coins as a reward for her “bonus behavior.”
REWARD
K set the goal… to hit the top of her cylinder each week, and when she does she will get a reward. When we devised the plan we asked her what reward she wanted and she clearly stated “an icee each week would be awesome!” So there it is; she is working on being a responsible person, good citizen, kind to others, and a part of the TEAM that our family is… and an icee each week she will get.
MODIFIED FOR LARGE FAMILY
April uses the program in a similar way, but she has a cylinder for each child with a “sticker” marking the individual child’s level they must reach (based on their age). She plays the kids against one another in a fun (and effective) way… whoever hits their “goal” first earns a date with mom and dad to a local pizza place and $10 in tokens! Now, you tell me, what kid wouldn’t work for that prize?
